Ankle Freedom

I went to the physical therapist today. It was a great visit! I have graduated!!! I still have a way to go in my recovery, but it's just exercises that I need to do on my own. I have to remember to do them! But I have removed the ankle splint! Right now, I have on shorts for the first time this summer. It feels great! I even tried on some non-sneaker shoes to wear with my shorts, but I am not ready for that yet. My calf without a splint is such a wonderful site.




And the most exciting thing is that I can go biking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have to stick to flat, paved surfaces (like the American Tobacco Trail) and I have to keep it short and easy, but hot damn! I can ride a bike! And I can start a little bit of light walking, too. I am so excited to get out of this damn green polka-dotted chair!

Lone Lonely Alone

For the past week or so, the general pain in my ankle has subsided but I am still a little unstable and have limited mobility in my ankle joint. I am able to get up and and do basic stuff like short driving, short walking, laundry, etc., but these remaining limitations are really taking their toll on me. Now that I am not in pain, I desperately want to get back to doing everything that I used to. But I can't, and that is driving me crazy. I cannot walk on grass or gravel. I cannot run. Heck, I cannot even walk fast. I can't walk down stairs without taking one single step at a time.


I finally ditched the cane this weekend not because my doctor instructed me to, but because I am so sick of using it. And I am sick of people telling me that the cane is sexy. It's not. I'll admit that Fred is quite handsome in his natty tux, top hat and cane, but he's dancing with his cane and not using it to hobble across the room. And he's not a girl.

I think that the lack of exercise is really draining me physically and emotionally. I just need to get out and run or do some yardwork or bike or swim or something. I think that if I could exercise, I'd have more energy. I've been active all weekend in the sense that I have been going out to restaurants and seeing friends and going to shows. It's nice to be around people, but it's not cutting this malaise.

As I drove to Chapel Hill this morning, I listened to the end of The Charm of the Highway Strip by the Magnetic Fields and then I decided to get my one-song musical horrorscope, which was the following Wilco song:

Shakin' sugar from a sugar spoon
Peppermint tea afternoon
Alone, alone, alone

Taking a shower take another nap
Watching television take a bath
Alone, alone, alone

Feel like a book, but I just cant start it
Feel like a lover, brokenhearted
Look in the mirror at the face in the glass
Look like a question no one ever asks

Alone
Like I'm supposed to be
Lone lonely alone Like
I'm supposed to be

Go for a walk, go for a drive
Listen to the stereo stay inside
Alone, alone, alone

Alone
Like I'm supposed to be
Lone lonely alone
Like I'm supposed to be

It's a great song, which I played over and over in the car. But what a horribly depressing musical horrorscope! I hope tomorrow's is something more cheery. Maybe I'll get a Fred Astaire song tomorrow. That would make me happy.

Another Boring Ankle Update

Maybe I can make it sound exciting somehow. Lately, my blog entries have been B-O-R-I-N-G. But how the heck can one make ankle news exciting? I went to the physical therapist yesterday. He was really cute. That was exciting. But then he made me feel a little bit uncomfortable.

As I was sitting on the platform, he positioned my feet so that they hung a bit off the edge so that he could wiggle my ankle around to see how much he could bend it before I kicked him in the face. But the thing is, he positioned himself with his legs spread wide open so that when I stared down at my purple swollen foot, I couldn't help but look directly at his crotch. It was just right there. The whole situation made me blush. I couldn't avoid it. It reminded me of the complaints of my guy friends who try to read the writing on a woman's t-shirt, but have difficulty because the writing is directly over the woman's boobs. Since I was struggling to avoid looking directly at the sun and he was twisting my ankle in ways that no ankle should be twisted, I had a hard time concentrating on what he was telling me.

But the therapist did get through to me and scared me with one word: ATROPHY. I have some. In my calf. He jiggled it like it was jello. (Note to guys: NEVER ever jiggle any part of a woman's body like jello or you might get yourself horribly injured.) He said that I need to start weaning myself off the cast and start walking with sneakers and crutches or cane. A cane - how lovely! Also, I have to start exercising my foot three to five times a day. One of the exercises is wrapping a belt around the ball of my foot and pulling my foot toward me.... OW! And then there is this neat little exercise: I have to pretend like I am writing the alphabet with my big toe in the air in an effort to bend and rotate my ankle. It is really really hard and painful.

I also went to the eye doctor today. I thought I was slowly going blind, because I cannot read street signs. He told me "Welcome to the late thirties. Get used to it." Dude! I'm in my mid-thirties. *MID*-thirties. Mid-thirties. DON'T MAKE ME OLDER THAN I REALLY AM!

My glasses prescription changed just a teeny bit, but overall, no changes in my vision in the past 3 years. I guess that the street sign problem and the double vision are just a product of years of eye problems, surgeries, and middle age. [Am I middle-aged yet? Nah.] But I am excited to get some new frames since I've had these since 1999. I want some new girly glasses.

Do You Really Want to Hear About My Ankle?

Nah. I don't want to hear about my ankle either. Maybe I'll write about it tomorrow. Physical therapy. Exercises. Crutches. Blah. Blah. Blah. BLAH!

Today I had to drive around town for work, which was painful, but I didn't care because I discovered my new all-time favorite song [of the week]. I played it over and over and over today. This song just made my day: "Here At the Right Time" by Josh Ritter. It is so beautiful. Ritter sings this gentle little sad little with only a piano. I am so in love with this song. And it's only the first song on the record! I might explode if I listen to any other songs on the record. Sad songs make me so happy.

UPDATE: I did explode. I exploded in dance (on one foot). "Lillian, Egypt." Holy crap!!! That song is great. I got up out of my polka-dotted chair and danced. Well, I did this big ugly one-legged dance that involved me yanking my torso around and wildly pointing in the air with my thumbs. It wasn't very pretty, but it felt great. His voice reminds me of Grandpa Jones in this song. It is the best jangly dance song ever!!! I've gotta go dance again.

Three Days Without Crutches

It was four weeks ago today that I sprained the ankle/fractured the foot. Today, I made it through another day without crutches or even really thinking about using them. A week ago, I don't think I could've envisioned myself getting to this point. The whole ankle saga has seemed like it would never end. Tomorrow, is aggressive physical therapy day... I am really really dreading it. The doctor warned me several times about the pain that I will experience tomorrow. I keep trying to figure out an excuse so that I can get out of it. I do have a really packed day at work tomorrow.

Hey kids! Today's song of the day is "Don't Say A Word" by Crooked Fingers. Over the years, this song has gone in and out of my obsession playbox alot. And now it has returned... but it is a wonderful song to listen to on endless repeat. So far today, I have only listened to it seven times. I just get lost in the guitar. And the lyrics... they are so sad. [They say you learn, the more it burns. But what good does that do? If what you learn don't help to bring the one you love back to you?] Gosh, it just makes me tear up. And I swear, my stereo speakers were just made for Eric Bachmann's raspy, sexy, earthy voice. Go out and buy his records. I really love Red Devil Dawn and Dignity & Shame. I'm serious. Go buy them.

Be Aggressive! Be Be Aggressive!

I went to the orthopaedist yesterday for my follow up visit. Over the past few days, I have been able to put weight on my foot which is a relief because now the blisters under my arms can begin to heal. But the doctor was surprised that I was still on crutches at all. I explained to him that I followed his advice that he gave me three weeks ago which was to let pain be my guide.

At that time, I thought that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I didn't feel alot pain, so I didn't change anything about my daily activities. I ran errands, did my radio show, walked to dinner, etc. When I told the doctor this yesterday, he chuckled and said, "Well, you need to let pain be more of a guide than that. No wonder you're still on crutches!"

He was concerned that my ankle was still swollen and bruised (especially on the bottom of my foot), so he ran more x-rays. No new sprains or fractures were found, thank goodness. But he really wants me to work on getting rid of the crutches. He wants me to start aggressive physical therapy next week. He gave me a HUGE prescription for pain pills. He said that I must take one before each therapy session, because the physical therapists are going to push me hard. Ugh. That sounds horrible. Can't I just do some little ankle exercises at home in my polka-dotted chair?

Today was a good day. I carried my crutches to work, but I left them in the car. I was able to hobble around pretty well without them. I still don't feel steady and I clung to walls as I walked, but I did it.

Saturday, the Midtown Dickens are playing at 305 South. I hope I can manage to get out to see them...it all depends on what my ankle will allow. I heard them on Ross' radio show last week and they were great. They play a banjo AND a ukulele. Banjos are neat, but banjo ukuleles are neater.

Less Pain More Gain

The pain in my ankle is finally finally subsiding. It's still fairly swollen and bruised, but I no longer have shooting pains up my leg when I lower my leg from the ottoman. With my newly found freedom from excrutiating pain, I have been more social and have invited friends over and even ventured out on brief excursions.

Last night, Christa came over bearing dinner and her laptop. We popped open a bottle of champagne, chowed on a salad (my body was in shock), powered up the laptops and geeked for hours. We traded some music, drank lots of champagne, gossiped and installed instant messenger on my machine. I still don't really know how it works, but I now have the ability to send requests to WXYC.

Today was an absolutely amazing day, but I'll blog it tomorrow, as I just stumbled across Welcome Back, Kotter on TV. In 1995, as I was recovering from surgery in a hospital bed at Duke, I discovered a week-long Welcome Back, Kotter marathon on hospital TV. I lived for it every day. 8 episodes every night. I didn't need morphine... only Epstein, Barbarino, Kotter, and Freddy "Boom Boom" Washington from 8pm to midnight. I am convinced that it played a major role in my recovery. But given the state I was in, WBK was the only thing that was easy to watch that took my mind off of being laid up in a hospital bed and hooked up to lots of tubes. I think that Horshak might have special healing powers. And John Travolta is just cute!


Is that Boom Boom djing? Although I don't see the turntables, I definitely see the records and is that a cart machine in the background? Ahhhh... the days of djing with LPs and carts.

I Miss Cooking

As I've been sitting here confined to my polka-dotted chair, I've been watching the magazines pile up. I don't know how I accumulated so many magazine subscriptions. I don't even read all of them. For instance, I receive the Duke alumni magazine which I only sometimes open. Boo Duke!! The New Yorker is so chock full of information that I feel overwhelmed and usually end up reading one article a month if I am lucky. Then there is the local Sun magazine of which I usually just browse the Readers Write section. I have two music magazine subscriptions, which is too much, but I think that one was a gift.

Today, Saveur came in the mail. This and Cooks Illustrated are my favorite magazines which is somewhat ironic since I have never cooked until very recently. And and it's going to be awhile before I return to my culinary explorations. On Saveur's cover is the tastiest looking salad ever. It's a spinach salad with shallots and bacon, much like the one that I made for Elizabeth & Noah a couple months ago. It looks so tasty. My diet of the past couple weeks has been lacking adequate leafy foods. I am dying for some greens. Especially greens with bacon. My diet is extremely limited these days.

As I was flipping through Saveur this evening, I saw various articles about elaborate kitchens and places that I cannot afford to visit. But then, I came across this one photograph and my jaw dropped and I immediately started salivating. It was a picture of chocolate. It was porn. Chocolate porn. Handmade corn tortilla filled with melted chocolate. Delicious. The recipe looks easy enough, but it calls for four cups of masa harina. There are enough Latino groceries in Lakewood that I am sure that I can find it around here.

The more recipes I read, the more I realize I have no clue what goes into the food I eat or how it is prepared. Maybe once I am better I'll try to continue teaching myself how to cook and learning where to find certain ingredients in the grocery. Until then, I think I'll set the goal of getting well enough to go out to eat supper at Lantern one night in the next couple weeks. Rossi still owes me dinner.

Keepin' It Elevated

Friday afternoon I kinda freaked out a little. I just couldn't figure out why my foot was still just as swollen and just as painful as it was the day I sprained it. So, I called the orthopaedic clinic. The receptionist put me through to the orthopaedic surgeon on call at the ER. I told him that it's been almost two weeks and I cannot put any weight on my foot and it's purple, painful, and swollen. Blah. Blah. Blah. He asked me where I was. I said that I was at work. He said that if I was not keeping it elevated *ALL* the time that I was prolonging my recovery. Sitting at my desk and hobbling around work was not helping. He told me that I must keep my foot elevated if I expected to get better quickly.

All week, I have spent every evening in this chair with my foot elevated in pain caused by working all day. Each morning, I feel better and go back into work where I stay until the pain forces me to go home, at which time I return to this chair. And then the cycle starts again. So, I thought I'd better keep my butt planted in this chair for the weekend. (I'm sad because I didn't get to go meet Charleen tonight, but I just couldn't drive to Carrboro with my ankle like this.)

Today, I spent the day in my chair except for laundry. The only way to get my dirty clothes from my bedroom to the laundry room was by crawling. I crawled the other day, so why not again today. So, I filled up the laundry basket in the bedroom and then got down on all fours and pushed the basket while dragging my crutches behind me. Once I got to the laundry room, I was fine. I managed to do three loads: the last of which is still in the dryer. I had to crawl the laundry back to my bedroom to fold it and put it away. But I did it. Woo hoo!!! (I betcha my Saturday adventure was more exciting than yours!) One thing I discovered while crawling around the house is that the floor in here is absolutely disgusting. As soon as my foot gets better and I get off these crutches, I am going to start cleaning my floors frequently.

Today, I also realized that people can see me sitting in here. Folks walking by are now waving to me. I guess that is nice & neighborly. I kinda feel like a window mannequin. There is a little preschool down the street and the kids seem to love and stop and scream gleefully at the stuff on my porch.... or maybe they are screaming at the weird crazy lady teetering on crutches in the window.

Last night, Denise came over and brought me food from the kitchen. We watched The Muppet Movie together. I haven't seen that movie since I was 8 years old. I just about fell out of my chair when I saw Kermit in the opening sequence playing the banjo!!!! I love Kermit. "Rainbow Connection" sounds like it might be difficult to play on uke. I also watched Louisiana Story this afternoon. I am convinced that Jim Henson and Ricky Leacock are geniuses.

It's A Good Day

Today was an extremely painful day at work. I finally gave up at 4pm and came home to writhe in my polka-dotted chair. But instead of dwelling on how much my ankle hurts or how depressing it is to be confined to this chair, I'll celebrate some good things:

1. I now have a water pitcher in the living room so that I can have a glass of water while sitting in my polka-dotted chair. (I couldn't figure out how to get a glass of water from the kitchen to the living room without crawling with it on the floor or filling a ziploc bag with water and carrying it with my crutches.)
2. After rearranging some things in my kitchen, I can now maneuver around and actually eat something more substantial than cheese and crackers. I was able to heat up my dad's amazing bean and sausage soup and fix a glass of juice for supper this evening. I even sat at the kitchen table to eat.
   
3. I ordered some crutch pads to help relieve my blisters.
4. My Netflix movies will be here tomorrow. I am excited about seeing The Jerk again especially the ukulele section in the special features.
5. I am really happy about the azaleas in my yard and my green grass!! My yard (as overgrown as it is) looks really good right now.
6. I've got some books coming in the mail from Amazon, one of which should be here tomorrow or Wednesday so I can finally put down this lame memoir I've been working for the past month at a rate of a page a day.
7. I am obsessed with looking out my front window. I took alot of pictures this afternoon with my camera phone. Once my foot gets a little better, I want to clean it to get a better view. I should open the blinds more often.
   
8. I learned to play my all-time favorite song EVER, Dinah, on the banjo uke... after being inspired by an amazing old-time concert at the Q-Shack last night. I can sing that one in tune, too. "Dinah, Is there anyone finer in the state of Carolina? If there is and you know her, show her to me..."

I have an entire mix cd of all my favorite versions of Dinah. I haven't shared it with many people... just Christa and Lightnin' because they are the only ones who I think might appreciate my obsession with that song.


As I go back and read the contents of this post, I hear Ross McElwee in my head speaking the words. But when I read the title, I hear Kay Starr (pictured above) singing it. That's pretty cool. Or maybe I am slowly becoming even more crazy. Or maybe it's just the pain pills.

Sunday Afternoon TV

Today, I got up very early to get to Chapel Hill to get some work done for my clients. I needed to get there early to ensure that I got a parking spot right out front. Driving hurts like hell. Using crutches is not easy either. But I did it. Neither of my clients' offices are very well suited for a person with crutches or a cast. But I squeezed myself in there and got them all caught up. I feel a huge weight lifted by getting that done.

It's weird how no one would make eye contact with me as I hobbled on my crutches on Franklin Street. I guess people don't know what to do if someone passes by with a physical impairment. That sucks.

When I arrived at the salon, there were some customers standing in there who saw me struggling with the door. They were standing probably 5 feet from the door and they just stood there and watched... they looked at me as if I were some beast trying to tear my way into the salon. Once I got in there and the stylists greeted me, they eased the customers anxiety by telling them that I was the accountant. Whew! Ladies, your purses are safe.

After work in Chapel Hill, I returned home to my all-too-familiar green polka-dotted chair and searched for something to watch on TV. I decided on Terms of Endearment. What a mistake. It seems like a good enough movie, but I didn't need to watch a film about a woman with three kids in a sucky marriage who dies from cancer. Bleah.

So, I pulled out my credit card and joined Netflix. I figure that if I am going to be stuck in this frickin' green chair for the next few weeks, I need to have something NOT depressing to watch. And 95% of the shows on cable TV are absolute CRAP.

First three films in my queue are Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, The Jerk, and Louisiana Story.

You Ain't Going Nowhere

So, yesterday I was feeling relatively little pain so I braved the outside world and drove to Chapel Hill for my radio show. And then I drove to work and put in a full day's work. I ended the day having dinner and drinks at Alivia's with Maggie. I hadn't been to Alivia's yet and heard mixed reviews. Overall, it was great... service was not the best, but my margarita was awesome and the grapefruit champagne pie was delicious. And it was fun to catch up with Maggie. Last night, the Brightleaf area was so crowded that we had to park pretty far away and walk to the restaurant. My foot was feeling kinda tingly during dinner, but overall, I was proud that I made it through the day.

In my head, my goal was to get strong enough to get out of the house and be somewhat "normal" before I ended my Ross McElwee documentary marathon. I was happy that I had reached my goal yesterday... I was out and about and I still hadn't watched Bright Leaves yet. I felt like I had beaten my nemesis: my ankle.

I was wrong.

This morning, I woke to a little bit of pain and headed to the bathroom. As I have the past two mornings, I hobbled without the cast or crutches. (I put the crutches in the closet on Thursday, because I felt like I didn't need them anymore.) As I stepped into the dining room this morning, I realized that I could no longer walk. Putting even the slightest bit of weight on the fractured/sprained foot caused excruciating pain... Pain so horrible that I wished I had filled the pain medication prescription my doctor gave me. I didn't know what to do. The closest dining room chair was at least three steps away. My cast was in the living room. I had no choice but to get down on my knees and crawl the rest of the way. I then crawled back to bed and just laid there and cried.

I finally got up and crawled to the foyer closet to retrieve the crutches. Crawling really hurts my knees. I had to then crawl with the crutches to the closest chair, because I couldn't get up off the floor. After the ibuprofen eased some of the pain, I decided to take a shower. I suffered through it and now I am back in my chair.

So many emotions were stirred up this morning. Mostly revolving around helplessness. I don't like asking people to do things for me. Thank goodness for my dad who offers his assistance so freely. My mom and dad are at a luncheon in Chapel Hill today and are coming by afterwards. I am just waiting for them to get here so that they can bring me a glass of water and a sandwich.

Sitting here in my polka-dotted chair, I think about my grandmother who was pretty helpless towards the end of her life. She had around-the-clock sitters who helped her get up in the morning, made her meals, cleaned the house, etc. I remember that she had a spot on her couch where she would sit every day. There were tissues, the remote, papers, pencils, the telephone, her purse, all the things that she needed placed strategically all around her on the couch. I can't help but think about her while I sit in my polka-dotted chair surrounded by my own things: my purse, my mobile phone, my laptop, my remotes. It scared me to see my grandmother like that. It scares me to be helpless like that, too.

I've been sitting here in silence just looking out the window. I've been watching the breakfast crowd go in and out of the Mexican restaurant. Lots of folks have been walking down to the grocery. There were two guys who were walking by eating some sort of meat jerky out of a big plastic pouch. I'm waiting to see two of my favorite Lakewood characters go by. One of them is this very happy little man with a grocery cart who always smiles and waves to everyone who walks or drives by. There is another guy who pimps out bikes by duct taping car steering wheels and boom boxes to them and then spray painting his creation. He tried to sell me one last year for $75.

I am sad that I cannot go anywhere. I want to go outside. I want to go to the Farmers Market. I want to go to a party this afternoon. I want to go to marching band practice. I can't.

So, I guess I'll admit defeat. I tried to beat my ankle yesterday, and my ankle has put me back in my place. But once I finish Bright Leaves, I'll need to find another DVD box set to begin another marathon. I have a Fred and Ginger box set, but I have seen all those movies multiple times. I have a Busby Berkeley box set, but the stories are so lame, I just fast-forward to the dance numbers and I am not in the mood. Maybe I'll order the Stan Brakhage Anthology or something by DA Pennebaker. Or maybe I'll practice my banjo uke.

The End of Ankle Week

Today, I managed to drive to work even though it was only two residential blocks away. And it didn't hurt. I think I have finally turned a corner with this ankle ordeal. It's still very swollen, purple and stiff and my range of motion is just a fraction of that of my good foot. But I am in much less pain... I love my cast.

I woke this morning and heard the voice of Ross McElwee in my head narrating my morning routine. He was describing the granny rocking chair in my bedroom and the orange wool blanket on my bed. I was thinking... I've got to get out of the house and stop watching Ross McElwee films.

After work, I met my dad at home and we chatted a bit about doctors and what he's cooking these days. He was going to drive me to Whole Foods, but I told him that I wanted to try it by myself. I did it! It was hard... I had to take my cast off to drive the car and put it back on when I arrived at the grocery. Same thing for the drive home. How annoying. But I did it!! Once I got home, I celebrated my accomplishment by eating a sopressata sandwich and watching McElwee's Six O'Clock News. So for now, I'll have to deal with Ross McElwee's voice stuck in my head narrating my life as I hobble around the house on my cast. But this weekend, I am taking the cast off and getting the heck outta this house. My Ross McElwee film series will come to an end.Here is the picture out my front window as seen from from my polka-dotted chair. It's much lovelier in person. I've been enjoying it all this week while I've been stuck in this chair watching McElwee documentaries and eating ice cream.

Hey Charleen! See you next Saturday!!

It's Broken

The orthopaedist confirmed that there is a small piece of bone that was ripped off by the ligament. From the x-ray, it looked like the piece of bone is about the size of a a piece of gravel. (That photo of the x-ray is not mine, but the box is where my ligament ripped a piece of bone off.) He also was surprised by how bad the sprain was and that I was able to put any weight on my foot at all. It was a painful morning, but this cast rocks. My foot feels so much better strapped into this contraption. It's got these balloons around my ankles that can be inflated with a little pump. I'll have to stay in this cast for the next few weeks except when I sleep, shower, or do my exercises. I return to the orthopaedist in three weeks at which time I will possibly begin physical therapy. My ankle feels so much better in this cast, but unfortunately, I cannot drive. Although I might slip my cast off to drive around a little. I am already feeling a little bit stir crazy.

Although I have been continuing my Ross McElwee film series, I turn on the regular TV every now and then to hear about the details of the events at Virginia Tech. It's really hard for me to take in. I feel a bit guilty about blogging about something so insignificant as my broken foot and sprained ankle, but blogging about my sprained ankle is also a way for me to deal with my confusion and sadness. And Ross McElwee's film help remind me that the although there is sadness, we must all find strength to persevere.

Today, I finished Time Indefinite as well as Backyard and Charleen. The more I see of Charleen Swansea, the more I want to know. In many ways, I really admire her alot. She is the kind of strong Southern woman who I aspire to be. Smart. Unapologetic. Insightful. Kinda crazy. And she has a beautiful accent.

Every now and then I receive emails from the NC Film listserv about her documentary film series at the Carrboro Century Center. Her next film screening is coming up Saturday April 28th. I want to go. I'll slip my cast off for that.

In the film, Charleen, we meet Charleen's father in his factory office. Before you know it, he picks up and starts singing a song and playing a tiple! My jaw dropped. I was so excited! I rewound it and watched that scene over and over. I tried to take a picture with my camera phone, but it didn't come out so well.

If I go to Charleen's film screening, I gotta find out about that tiple. For one thing, how do you pronouce tiple?

Ross McElwee Soothes the Ankle

I managed to get to work today for a couple hours, even though I woke to alot of pain. My foot has swollen even more... my toes look like little purple vienna sausages. I can't really drive with my foot & ankle like this, but work is only two blocks away, so I can manage. It's no more painful than trying to hobble to the kitchen and it's alot less painful than trying to take a shower.

I found someone at work to drive me back to the urgent care clinic to pick up some crutches since putting weight on my foot has become more difficult. I thought I was just going to run in and pick up the crutches, but the doctor wanted to see my foot again. She seemed even more concerned about it and was relieved to hear that I actually made the appointment to see an orthopaedist. Apparently, there had been alot of discussion among several doctors about the bones in my foot. It seems like there may be another trouble area. Who knew that tripping on stairs could cause so much damage?

But she said that in all likelihood that the treatment for the fracture(s) would be wearing this ankle brace for a longer period of time or getting a cast. Let's hope that's all it is. Tomorrow, my dad is coming to take me to the orthopaedic clinic and then we are going grocery shopping. Woo hoo!

I have been confined to this polka-dotted chair and ottoman on which I have four bed pillows stacked in an effort to get my ankle elevated over my head. My doctor said that I am supposed to be lying flat on my back and have my leg elevated with pillows. Uh... no. So, instead I sit in my new favorite chair watching TV, working, sending emails, and reading. But the most exciting activity during these ankle days has been watching Ross McElwee's films.

On Sunday right before this happened, I passed Ross McElwee who was napping in the hotel lobby of the Marriott. He was awarded the Full Frame Career Award and during the ceremony, I became more and more fascinated with him. Michael Moore said that there would be no Roger and Me if he hadn't seen Sherman's March first. When I discovered McElwee napping on Sunday, I was dying to take a picture of him with my camera phone. But since I still don't know how to use my phone, I thought if I tried to figure it out, McElwee would probably wake up and tell me to get lost. I keep thinking about McElwee napping on that couch and how funny it would have been for me to capture it on my camera. So I have been going through my DVD box set of his documentaries.

Right now, I am about halfway through Time Indefinite. He is such a brilliant filmmaker. Today, I feel inspired by the way he seems to find beauty in the everyday. I find myself getting lost in his films because each shot seems deliberate yet subtle and contains some sort of beauty or emotion whether it's Charleen describing her house or a shot of the trees above a hammock.

The color of the sky across my street above the Mexican restaurant just now was very beautiful. And the vibrant green of the overgrown bushes outside my bedroom window is one of my favorite things these days.

Documentaries Can Be Hazardous To Your Health

Yesterday afternoon, I twisted my ankle as I descended some stairs at Full Frame. I thought... it's not that bad. It hurt and it was swollen, but I felt like I'd be fine. (I've never broken a bone or sprained an ankle before, until now.)

I woke up this morning and inspected my ankle and thought it looked alot better. The swelling was down and it seemed like my ankle was less purple. My ankle felt a little stiff but again, I thought I'll be fine!

Well, as the day wore on, my foot got bigger and bigger and eventually, my ankle bone disappeared completely. My foot and ankle turned a rainbow of colors and it started hurting. I tried to call my doctor, but I couldn't get an appointment because their power was out. So, I went to an urgent care clinic. The doctor there saw my ankle and suggested several x-rays to look for fractures. She came in later to tell me that she was shocked to discover that there were no fractures with such a severe sprain. At that point my foot was throbbing. I was sent home where I have to rest and keep my ankle elevated for the next couple days. I have to keep it wrapped in an ACE bandage and use this splint for the next SIX weeks! And I received this beautiful blue orthopedic shoe. SEXY!!!

No bowling or marching band for awhile. Now is the time that I wish I had a roommate.

UPDATE: The doctor just called and she and the radiologist discussed my x-rays and the is a spot of bone that they are concerned about. Basically, when I heard the big POP as I fell, it might have been my ligament tearing away from the bone and taking part of the bone with it. GROSS!!!! I have to make an appointment to go see an orthopedic surgeon. Holy crap!!!!!!