Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Another Boring Ankle Update

Maybe I can make it sound exciting somehow. Lately, my blog entries have been B-O-R-I-N-G. But how the heck can one make ankle news exciting? I went to the physical therapist yesterday. He was really cute. That was exciting. But then he made me feel a little bit uncomfortable.

As I was sitting on the platform, he positioned my feet so that they hung a bit off the edge so that he could wiggle my ankle around to see how much he could bend it before I kicked him in the face. But the thing is, he positioned himself with his legs spread wide open so that when I stared down at my purple swollen foot, I couldn't help but look directly at his crotch. It was just right there. The whole situation made me blush. I couldn't avoid it. It reminded me of the complaints of my guy friends who try to read the writing on a woman's t-shirt, but have difficulty because the writing is directly over the woman's boobs. Since I was struggling to avoid looking directly at the sun and he was twisting my ankle in ways that no ankle should be twisted, I had a hard time concentrating on what he was telling me.

But the therapist did get through to me and scared me with one word: ATROPHY. I have some. In my calf. He jiggled it like it was jello. (Note to guys: NEVER ever jiggle any part of a woman's body like jello or you might get yourself horribly injured.) He said that I need to start weaning myself off the cast and start walking with sneakers and crutches or cane. A cane - how lovely! Also, I have to start exercising my foot three to five times a day. One of the exercises is wrapping a belt around the ball of my foot and pulling my foot toward me.... OW! And then there is this neat little exercise: I have to pretend like I am writing the alphabet with my big toe in the air in an effort to bend and rotate my ankle. It is really really hard and painful.

I also went to the eye doctor today. I thought I was slowly going blind, because I cannot read street signs. He told me "Welcome to the late thirties. Get used to it." Dude! I'm in my mid-thirties. *MID*-thirties. Mid-thirties. DON'T MAKE ME OLDER THAN I REALLY AM!

My glasses prescription changed just a teeny bit, but overall, no changes in my vision in the past 3 years. I guess that the street sign problem and the double vision are just a product of years of eye problems, surgeries, and middle age. [Am I middle-aged yet? Nah.] But I am excited to get some new frames since I've had these since 1999. I want some new girly glasses.

1 comment:

Elizabeth said...

dude, a cane is Awesome!