Sunday, June 3, 2007

Lone Lonely Alone

For the past week or so, the general pain in my ankle has subsided but I am still a little unstable and have limited mobility in my ankle joint. I am able to get up and and do basic stuff like short driving, short walking, laundry, etc., but these remaining limitations are really taking their toll on me. Now that I am not in pain, I desperately want to get back to doing everything that I used to. But I can't, and that is driving me crazy. I cannot walk on grass or gravel. I cannot run. Heck, I cannot even walk fast. I can't walk down stairs without taking one single step at a time.


I finally ditched the cane this weekend not because my doctor instructed me to, but because I am so sick of using it. And I am sick of people telling me that the cane is sexy. It's not. I'll admit that Fred is quite handsome in his natty tux, top hat and cane, but he's dancing with his cane and not using it to hobble across the room. And he's not a girl.

I think that the lack of exercise is really draining me physically and emotionally. I just need to get out and run or do some yardwork or bike or swim or something. I think that if I could exercise, I'd have more energy. I've been active all weekend in the sense that I have been going out to restaurants and seeing friends and going to shows. It's nice to be around people, but it's not cutting this malaise.

As I drove to Chapel Hill this morning, I listened to the end of The Charm of the Highway Strip by the Magnetic Fields and then I decided to get my one-song musical horrorscope, which was the following Wilco song:

Shakin' sugar from a sugar spoon
Peppermint tea afternoon

Alone, alone, alone


Taking a shower take another nap
Watching television take a bath

Alone, alone, alone


Feel like a book, but I just cant start it
Feel like a lover, brokenhearted
Look in the mirror at the face in the glass

Look like a question no one ever asks


Alone
Like I'm supposed to be

Lone lonely alone Like
I'm supposed to be


Go for a walk, go for a drive

Listen to the stereo stay inside

Alone, alone, alone


Alone

Like I'm supposed to be

Lone lonely alone
Like I'm supposed to be

It's a great song, which I played over and over in the car. But what a horribly depressing musical horrorscope! I hope tomorrow's is something more cheery. Maybe I'll get a Fred Astaire song tomorrow. That would make me happy.

3 comments:

Gye Greene said...

The Cane: Maybe if you waggle it at the neighbor kids, and tell 'em to stay outta yer apple tree...?

BAND/ALBUM PLUG: Silicon Teens; alb: Music for Parties [I think; this is from memory]. Can probably pick it up for around five bucks at your favorite online used CD place. One or two originals, but mostly fun Casio-synth-ish covers of 1950s-'70s songs, e.g. "Doo-Wah-Diddy" and Chuck Berry's "Memphis Tennessee".

If you get it, let me know what you think. :)


--GG

Charlotte said...

Thanks for the cheerful note. But I just don't want to use the cane anymore. And I want to get out of this ankle splint. I'll look for the Silicon Teens....

Charlotte said...

Oh, it looks like we have it at the radio station! I'll play something tomorrow night off the record. It does sound like a very happy record.