Lone Lonely Alone

For the past week or so, the general pain in my ankle has subsided but I am still a little unstable and have limited mobility in my ankle joint. I am able to get up and and do basic stuff like short driving, short walking, laundry, etc., but these remaining limitations are really taking their toll on me. Now that I am not in pain, I desperately want to get back to doing everything that I used to. But I can't, and that is driving me crazy. I cannot walk on grass or gravel. I cannot run. Heck, I cannot even walk fast. I can't walk down stairs without taking one single step at a time.


I finally ditched the cane this weekend not because my doctor instructed me to, but because I am so sick of using it. And I am sick of people telling me that the cane is sexy. It's not. I'll admit that Fred is quite handsome in his natty tux, top hat and cane, but he's dancing with his cane and not using it to hobble across the room. And he's not a girl.

I think that the lack of exercise is really draining me physically and emotionally. I just need to get out and run or do some yardwork or bike or swim or something. I think that if I could exercise, I'd have more energy. I've been active all weekend in the sense that I have been going out to restaurants and seeing friends and going to shows. It's nice to be around people, but it's not cutting this malaise.

As I drove to Chapel Hill this morning, I listened to the end of The Charm of the Highway Strip by the Magnetic Fields and then I decided to get my one-song musical horrorscope, which was the following Wilco song:

Shakin' sugar from a sugar spoon
Peppermint tea afternoon
Alone, alone, alone

Taking a shower take another nap
Watching television take a bath
Alone, alone, alone

Feel like a book, but I just cant start it
Feel like a lover, brokenhearted
Look in the mirror at the face in the glass
Look like a question no one ever asks

Alone
Like I'm supposed to be
Lone lonely alone Like
I'm supposed to be

Go for a walk, go for a drive
Listen to the stereo stay inside
Alone, alone, alone

Alone
Like I'm supposed to be
Lone lonely alone
Like I'm supposed to be

It's a great song, which I played over and over in the car. But what a horribly depressing musical horrorscope! I hope tomorrow's is something more cheery. Maybe I'll get a Fred Astaire song tomorrow. That would make me happy.